Pictures for Children
A young artist went to ask a publisher why he had rejected his paintings, he got this reply, "Because we discern a lack of maturity in your paintings."
"Then, they can be pictures for children, " the young man suggested.
儿童画
一位年轻画家去问一个出版商他的画为什么被退了回来，得到了这样的答复： “因为我们发现你的作品还不够成熟。”
“既然不够成熟，可以出版给儿童看嘛，”这位年轻的画家建议。
They Are Directly from America
Mrs.Smith lived in London. One day she received some American dollars from her daughter who was working in New York. She went to a jewelry shop for a pair of earrings. At the counter, the salesman checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old woman impatient. At last she couldn't wait anymore, uttering: "Trust me, sir, and trust the American dollars. they are directly from America."
直接从美国来的
史密斯太太住在伦敦。一天她收到在美国工作的大女儿寄来的钱。于是她就去珠宝店想买一对耳环。在柜台，售货员非常仔细地检查着每一张美元。这一来她有点儿不耐烦了。最后她忍不住了，说：“相信我，相信这些美元吧。这可都是直接从美国来的呢。”
The Umbrella
A gentleman staying in a hotel left his umbrella in the hall, but he had put on the handle a card on which was written: "This umbrella belongs to a gentleman who can lift up a hundred pounds. I shall be back in ten minutes." When he came back, he found, instead of his umbrella, another card on which was written,"This card belongs to a man who can run ten miles an hour. I shall not come back."
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雨伞
一位住在旅馆的绅士把他的雨伞放在了大厅里，不过他在伞柄上系了一张卡片，上面写道，“此伞属于一位能举百磅的绅士。我将在十分钟内回来。当他回来时，发现雨伞已经不翼而飞，取而代之的是另一张卡片，上面写着：“此卡是一位一小时能跑十英里的人留下的，我将永远不回来了。”
It's Me All Right
A pretty young lady went to cash a check at a bank. The teller examined it, then asked, "Can you identify yourself? Looking puzzled, the girl dipped into her handbag and pulled out a small mirror. She glanced into it for a moment, then smiled, "Yes, it's me all right."
就是我
一位年轻漂亮的女士到银行取钱。出纳员在检查了她的存折后问道：“您能证明您的身份吗？”这个女孩听了这话以后看上去很迷惑，随后她从手提包里拿出一个小镜子。她对着镜子照了一会儿，笑了：“对呀，这就是我。”
The Least Alert Burglar
A parisian villain broke into a house at the village of lachelle in 1964.Once inside he began to feel decidedly peckish and so went in search of the icebox.There he found his favourite cheese which it would have been a shame not to try.
He then found some Bath Oliver biscuits and three bottles of champagne.
After a while he began to feel sleepy and decided that he would lie down and disgest his meal in comfort.He was arrested next morning fast asleep upstairs in the spare bedroom.
最不警觉的盗窃犯
1964年，一个巴黎歹徒闯进拉塞利村的一户住家里，可一进去他便饥饿难忍，于是他先找冰箱，在那里他发现了他爱吃的奶酪。若不吃点，岂不太亏了。
他还发现了一些巴斯奥立瓦饼干和三瓶香槟酒。
不一会儿他有些犯困，便决定还是先躺下来消消食。第二天早晨当他还在楼上房里呼呼大睡时被逮捕了。
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